"Why does my dog listen perfectly in training sessions or at home, but completely ignore me in real life situations?"
It is so common for our dogs to respond strongly to a cue in some situations but seem to be speaking a different language in others. Not only do many dog owners share this frustration, but they often share assumptions:
"I have a stubborn dog."
"My dog will not do anything unless I bribe them."
"They have selective hearing."
The good news is that a dog is not capable of being "stubborn". In fact, stubbornness, the type often attributed to dogs, is an exclusively human trait. We are capable of not doing something that benefits us out of spite for someone else. But luckily for us, dogs do not do this. They will always do what benefits them the most. Whether it is staying out of harm's way, getting comfortable, or meeting a basic need, they will not refuse something that actually benefits them.
So why do some dogs seem really obedient in some situations and not in others? To answer this, let's break down the most common factors that explain the differences between training environments and real-life situations.
Many factors can cause a dog to ignore a cue. Here are the most common ones I see.
The Dog Does not Understand the Cue.
When we are teaching a dog a new behavior, we need to make sure we add the cue at the right time during that training. As the dog performs the behavior, we want to say the cue so they associate that action with what they are doing. Over time, they associate that action with the word, so when you say the word, they remember what they are doing when they hear it, and perform the action. The timing of adding these cues can be a little tricky sometimes, but even if it's perfect, the cue and the behavior won't be strong unless it results in something they want. And this leads us to the second reason a dog may ignore your cue...
There is no incentive to perform the behavior.
As a reinforcement-based trainer, I use many rewards early in a dog's learning process. Trainers like myself have often been referred to as "cookie pushers". Some take this as an insult, but I see it as a compliment. It is the most efficient and useful for learning and reinforcing (increasing the likelihood of) new behavior. In my training, I also instruct dog owners on how to avoid needing the reward all the time (duration). But from a dog's birth to the end of their life, I never advise withdrawing reinforcers completely. Why? Because the reinforcement drives the behavior. Even if they seem to love following your cues, there has to be an incentive for them to continue doing something that they may not naturally want to do.
"But shouldn't my dog just want to do it? He does it all the time; why should I keep treating him?"
If your boss said, "You are doing so well, we won't pay you anymore," how long would you stay? Even if you loved your job and coworkers, you wouldn't work without pay. There are ways to teach your dog to work without a treat every time, but that's a topic for another day.
But just as some dogs are looking for an incentive to do something, there may also be better reasons not to do something. Which brings us right into the next reason your dog "ignores" you.
It's Not Safe Or Comfortable
The environment plays a big role in what we do and don't do. When we get tired, we sit; when we are hungry, we eat; when we are outside, we wear shoes. But we also avoid the sun to avoid sunburn; when we are nervous, we rarely sit and relax, and even if we were hungry, we wouldn't eat it if we saw a waiter sneeze on our food.
Dogs do the same.
Whenever your dog has a strong cue and won't follow it, take the time to consider the reasons why. Is it raining? Some dogs don't like sitting their butt on the wet ground. Are they refusing to go potty on their walk? Check for threats in the environment. Is your dog pulling towards the grass on the walk? Maybe the concrete is too hot, and they are looking for somewhere cool to walk.
When dogs are feeling anxious, uncomfortable, or stressed, they are unlikely to respond to strong, basic cues. When I am working with a fearful, stressed, or anxious dog, I often use their strongest, most basic cues not to get the behavior but to gauge how stressed they are. Often, if they sit when cued, it's a sign they can handle that stress. If they are acting as if I am not even there, I know I need to do what I can to help them feel safe, then try again.
In situations like this, it's best to respect your dog's "no" and move on. They are allowed to have autonomy over themselves in the spirit of safety and comfort. Pushing them into a behavior that makes them feel vulnerable not only hurts their chances of success there in the future but also makes them feel unsafe with you.
The Behavior Has Not Been Generalized Yet
Generalization is a top reason dogs don't follow cues outside the home. Humans generalize skills quickly, but dogs struggle with this.
When you work on a strong down, sit, or recall in the home, it should be expected that your dog will have no idea what you are talking about when you use the same cue anywhere else. Whether it is your front yard, a different room, or at the pet store. Your dog is not likely to understand the same cue in a new location. But how do we combat this? Simple.
Retrain the behavior from scratch in multiple locations. You have to enter into it as if you have never taught it before. Start all over. However, you will see that your dog learns it more quickly with each new location. Then, after you have tried a couple of new places and you are seeing results, use that cue in a newer location. They may even have to think about it for a second. Don't repeat the cue, just give them a moment to think about it. When they start performing the cue without being retrained for new locations, you will know they have generalized it.
In summary, your dog may ignore your cues in real-life situations due to unclear understanding, a lack of incentive, discomfort, or unfamiliar surroundings. By recognizing these common reasons, you can adjust your approach and help your dog succeed outside the home. If you still have questions or need more help, we offer free virtual and in-person consultations for those in central Indiana, as well as free virtual and phone consultations for anyone else. Click the link below to reach out for more help or to find additional info.
Happy Training!
